Are you a victim of Naples 125?


Have you been left with a dirty fork and no plate to place it on?

Did you and your 3 boys pay $500 for five and a half pieces of arugula?

Was your pizza colder than Lake Mendota on January 30, 1951?

Did your boy learn convex nonlinear optimization just for this?

Have you ever been choked to 'hand crushed by a mallet'?

Does your body feel like slime, but slime that's going to explode into uncomfortable wet confetti?

The new Barbie movie has a sex scene with Michael Cera.


Luckily, there is salvation.